Arm's-length slop for arm's-length entities
Includes a governance module that governs the governance module.
Book a demoChallenges we have heard about
- You are a business, but not that kind.
- You are government, but not that kind.
- The board wants a dashboard and the Minister wants a letter.
What Slopware does about it
Governance of Governance (every decision is logged, summarized, and attributed to a committee)
Board-ready and Minister-ready outputs from the same slop unit
Observability Observability™ for the oversight of oversight
- masters served
- 2
- governance module (recursive)
- 1
- business hour apology SLA
- 4
- commemorative plaque (Enterprise Plus)
- 1
Recommended modules
Observability Observability™
Recursive monitoringMonitor the monitors that monitor your monitoring. Fully recursive, infinitely billable, and guaranteed to page someone at 3 a.m. about itself.
Explore Observability² →ThroughputIQ™
Caffeine throughput intelligencePredictive insight into your organization's caffeine throughput, correlated against revenue, morale, and parking. Correlation is not causation, but it is a dashboard.
Explore ThroughputIQ →Sorry-as-a-Service™
Apology orchestrationAutomate regionally calibrated apologies across every customer touchpoint. Now with Maritime Sincerity Tuning and a dedicated Québec remorse model.
Explore SaaS (the other one) →"I still do not know what Slopware does, but our board has not asked a follow-up question since we bought it."