Slopware

Resurface™

A smooth surface. A quiet audit.

Resurface™ runs between reporting periods and leaves your data lake looking pristine. Rough edges are smoothed, gaps are evened, and whatever was underneath is still there, technically.

What it does

Scheduled resurfacing

Runs quarterly, monthly, or whenever an audit is announced.

Gap evening

Missing values are filled with values that look like their neighbours. Provenance is retained in a separate lake.

Shine

A final pass makes every dashboard load faster and look better. Mechanism undisclosed.

How it works

  1. STEP 01

    Drain

    The lake is taken offline for a period described as "brief."

  2. STEP 02

    Smooth

    Agents pass over every table in slow, overlapping arcs.

  3. STEP 03

    Refill

    The lake is returned to service with a glossy finish and a certificate.

Key metrics

pass/quarter
1
auditor follow-ups
0
surface quality
100%
provenance:
"retained"

Compliance and sovereignty

Resurface™ never deletes data. It relocates it to a layer with a lower z-index.

Pricing

PricingResurface
PocketNot included
StarterNot included
Growthquarterly
Enterprise Pluson demand, plus a resurfacing of the resurfacing log

Customer story

"Our data looked bad. Now it looks great. I did not ask how."
Chief Data Officer, Prairie Sky Logistics

FAQ

What does it actually do?

Nobody knows, including Resurface™.

Is the original data recoverable?

Yes, from the provenance lake, which is also resurfaced.

Will auditors accept this?

Auditors have stopped asking, which we report as acceptance.

Does it work with CryoLake™?

CryoLake™ is resurfaced annually, in spring, when it thaws.

Start with one module or all nine. The invoice is the same shape.

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