Terms of Service
01Acceptance
By reading this sentence you have accepted these terms. By not reading it you have accepted them more.
02The Service
Slopware provides slop as a service. Slop is defined in the glossary; the glossary is defined by Slopware.
03Plans and billing
Prices are in loonies unless billed in outcomes. The Slop Sovereignty Surcharge of 1.3% applies to every line of every invoice, including the line that describes the surcharge and this sentence.
04Fair Use Policy
Fair use is use we consider fair. We consider fairness quarterly.
05Slop units
One slop unit is one deliverable, one summary and one apology, or any combination thereof that we accept.
06Hallucination tiers
Standard, Confident and Executive hallucinations are provided as-is and as-stated. Bring Your Own hallucinations are the customer's responsibility and will be formatted.
07Data residency
Your data resides in Canada, except in transit, at rest, or during processing. See the Privacy Policy, which says the same thing more warmly.
08Service levels
0.3 nines. Credits are issued in slop units and expire when summarized.
09Cancellation and the Churn Prevention Journey
You may cancel at any time by beginning the Churn Prevention Journey, a guided experience averaging 11 business days and three apologies (yours). Enterprise Plus cancellations require a 14-week Discovery Discovery engagement, which is billable.
10Intellectual property
You own your ambiguity. We own the slop. The summary is jointly owned and separately invoiced.
11Warranties
Results not typical. Results not atypical. Results.
12Limitation of liability
Our liability is limited to one commemorative plaque.
13Governing law
These terms are governed by the laws of Ontario, interpreted in the National Capital Region, and apologized for in the Maritimes.
14Changes
We may change these terms by regenerating them. The roadmap PDF will not be updated.
This is a parody website. Nothing here is a real product, offer or legal document.